Been kinda thinking alot lately abt alot of stuff... Recently my paternal grandma had gotten into a car accident and was in the hospital ward for abt 2 days just to check if she will be alrite... I guess its cause of precautionary measures as she is an elderly woman... her report is alrite except for a 3rd rib hair-line fracture on the right side and a couple of abrasions and cuts on her forehead... other den that she is still alrite just tt she is rendered " immobile " to do any housework at the moment.... hahah So I guess tt explains y I am so freaking bz and tired lately as most of the time i am dealin wif all the house work... Yea i admit I am kinda lazy at times to do certain housework but well WTF man its time I took over and take care of my grandma rite???? i like took care of everythin including the cooking and my grandma insisted I had to learn hw to make the curries.... Holy shyt man... thank god I still could cook them man... the curries so far I have learnt to are like fish, chicken mushroom and toufu curries... there are like still a shit load more to learn man and I dunno if I would be havin the time to learn them as well er nt... LOL While helping out wif arnd the house I gotta help my dad wif his IRA form submission too man.. oh god i am like super runnin out of time LOL but well wat to do just chew the bitter medicine and grit on it man.... Sometimes u just gotta do wats a man gotta do... hahaha just live ur life a 1/4 mile at a times and change accordingly cause u nvr noe when shit's gonna happen. Lately I gotta admit I am like super duper depressed over rs matters... well sometimes I just blame myself over alot of things for all the quarrels we have had in our rs but well I noe it takes 2 hands to clap and I gotta admit tt there is definitely alot of shit for me to change... one of which is me smoking man.. gotta seriously reduce my number of cigs i take... hahahaha.. I just hope tt my gf and me can both withstand the test of time and patience that is coming soon esp when I enter into NS as it is known as the graveyand shit period for couples where their love is put to the test... I just dunno y I gt no confidence in myself... I am just vry scared of losing her man hiaz..... Wel I just gt a msg which I hope my gf would be able to see: To my dearest jacqlyn baby, I noe I have hurt u many times wif wat I say or do and I admit I am definitely nt the best bf out there.. I noe nuts abt being romantic and I cant do alot of things like wat most couples out there do... buyin u flowers bring u here and there to shop watch movies and stuff... I am srry baby I am such a failure in becomin ur bf... I just wanna say I love u baby and I just hpe I can and will make u smile and feel loved...I realy cant promise u tt I will be able to change fully but i noe I will try my best for our future... I really dun wish to lose u ever baby ur really my heart and my soul and wifout u I really fel tt life would really be meaningless to me anymore... I noe tt I am nt at all romantic in most ways but I rather find out and use more meaningful ways to express my love to u... I am srry baby for making u upset and angry recently wif all of our quarrels and meaningless fights.. I just hope u will nvr leave me baby I just dun wanna ever lose u.. cause i really feel if i do lose u, I think I will nvr find another gal anymore and just remain single till the day I die:( pls dun ever leave me baby T.T Hiaz I guess ima go to slp alrdy as tml is gg to be another long ass day where housework and compilin of info to be submitted to IRA would be my world... LOL HIAZ EMOFIED AND THINKIN TOO MUCH UNCLE STEVEN SIGNIN OFF.................................................